my issue is that i have been the same weight (give or take 5 lbs). even though i know my body composition has changed underneath all my flab. it is a mental thing and i know it. our society has been lead to believe that weight = where you are in way of weight loss... not inches or body composition, but weight. so if i were to say i weighed 185 this morning and as of right now i am down 55 lbs but all that wight was lost between may and october of 2011 what would one say about my weight loss journey with out seeing the other results as in inches or % of body fat/BMI???
i personally see it as a failure on my part (mentally) because i know i can do better and i hold myself at a higher standard of myself. (aka- i am going to be best i can be, no ifs ands or buts) but in reality that is not true. i survived the holidays, being sick a numerous amounts of times in the last few months, and root canals. not to mention one emotional breakdown caused by an antibiotic. i am finally feeling "normal", as back to normal as one can be after all that, and i am disappointed in myself. i see myself as one who can do anything, but i have to remind myself that i cannot. what i can do is take one day a day at a time and try to keep up.... if that makes any sense.
a friend said to me over the weekend that he wishes he had my determination, which made me fell good, but for some reason i felt the need to explain why i am not further in my journey than i am and he looked at me like i was a lil nuts. apparently i cannot see what everyone else does. on occasion i catch a glimpse of what everyone sees, but it is like an illusion to me and it is hard for me to believe what i am seeing.
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